Dear Steve and Shirley,
I went on a blind date with a man that my sister met at her church. We had a good first date, and I agreed to go out with him for a second date because I felt like I could shape him into the perfect man for me. His wife died four years ago, and he stopped dating and looking for love after his last girlfriend cheated on him. I couldn't believe how he hadn't changed a thing at home since his wife died. All he did was move all of his wife's clothing and shoes into a guest room, and there was a garbage bag filled with designer purses. He was passed out drunk one night, and I went through the clothes, shoes, and the bags. There were a couple of coats of hers that I needed and more than a few nice dresses that were my size. Her feet were smaller than mine, so I couldn't try on any of the shoes. It took me two separate secret missions to go through the purses.
I've been asking him since then if I can help him clean out the house. He said that he would do it if I moved in with him. I don't want to live with him because it's too soon, but I do want those designer purses and fancy clothes. I told him that I would think about moving in just to see what he was going to say. He got excited and said he would call a junk removal service and get the house cleaned out. I told him I wanted some of the purses, and he said they're going to Goodwill. He said he didn't want me to have his deceased wife's bags. Is he crazy? Why can't I have the good stuff?